How Did They Do That?

I was at dinner with friends from OralDNA Labs — Amanda and Diane — talking about stories from my book, Undeniable Hospitality.

Little did we know, we were about to live one. 

The restaurant was stunning — the kind of architectural beauty you’d expect at the Museum of Modern Art. Elegant. Intentional. Precise.

The service was polished. Smiling. Attentive.

But nothing extraordinary.

At first.

They asked if it was a special occasion.
I said my friends were visiting from Minnesota and I wanted them to experience New York’s finest.

Minutes later, our server returned — not with food, but with small printed menus.

“Since this will be memorable,” she said, “perhaps this will help you remember it.”

Anticipation.

The tasting menu began. Halfway through their signature egg-on-egg-on-egg, I quietly said, “I wish there were more toast.”

Seconds later, toast appeared.

“How did they know?”

Later, I mentioned my water glass being refilled with sparkling. My glass was replaced — apology included.

Again: “How did they know?”

Dessert arrived — along with a small cake and candle.

“Even though it’s not a special occasion,” she said, “we appreciate that you came all the way from Minnesota.”

And after we paid, we were invited into the kitchen, where the entire brigade turned and welcomed us.

It felt orchestrated.

Because it was.

Not staged.

Designed.

What Choreography Looks Like in Dentistry

In dentistry, choreography begins before the patient ever sits down.

It starts when the phone rings.

Good offices record this information.

Undeniable practices use it.

The scheduling coordinator enters it clearly.
The assistant overhears something in reception.
The hygienist shares vacation plans.
The assistant briefs the doctor before he walks in.

Now the doctor enters and says:

“I understand you’ve had uncomfortable experiences before. Let’s make sure today is different — especially before your cruise.”

The patient feels seen.

Not because you’re psychic.

Because you’re coordinated.

That’s choreography.

Reaction vs. Anticipation

Transactional practices react.

Relational practices anticipate.

Information flows:
Front → Hygiene → Assistant → Doctor → Front again.

No silos.
No “not my department.”

Just alignment.

And here’s the deeper truth:

In a world dominated by automation and AI, attentiveness is becoming rare.

And rare things are valuable.

Patients don’t remember your crown margin.

They remember whether you heard them.

They remember whether you acted on what you heard.

That’s not magic.

That’s influence.

Ethical influence.

Why This Matters

The restaurant didn’t manipulate us.

They used what we voluntarily revealed — thoughtfully, respectfully, skillfully.

That’s the difference between persuasion and manipulation.

And that distinction matters more than ever in healthcare.

If you want to create this kind of coordinated, trust-building experience in your practice — not through gimmicks, but through principles grounded in behavioral science — I highly recommend the Cialdini Ethical Influence training course.

Dr. Robert Cialdini’s work has shaped much of what we now understand about commitment, consistency, reciprocity, and authority — the very forces that transform ordinary service into extraordinary experiences.

If you want your team to:

Then this training is not optional — it’s foundational.

Because magic isn’t magic.

It’s design.

And ethical influence is the blueprint.

— Michael

P.S.  If you’re not doing Saliva Testing, you’re missing out on an opportunity to differentiate your practice. Schedule a Strategy Session Now.