You Become the Mask You Wear: “Fake It Till You Make It” and Other Advice Dentists Often Misunderstand

A friend recently asked me how I deal with a client who lacks leadership qualities.

It’s a fair question—but also a revealing one.

Because in nearly every struggling dental practice I’ve encountered, the singular constraint is not systems, marketing, staffing, insurance, technology, or even clinical excellence.
It’s leadership.

And before that statement triggers defensiveness, let me say this clearly: that’s actually good news.

Why? Because it’s far easier to change yourself than it is to change everyone around you.

When an issue arises in a practice—low morale, poor accountability, team conflict, resistance to change—my first advice is almost always the same:

Look in the mirror first.

The idea that we play roles is hardly new. William Shakespeare reminded us that “all the world’s a stage,” and whether consciously or not, leaders step onto it every day.

Which brings us to phrases like “fake it till you make it.”
Many dentists bristle at that advice. It sounds disingenuous. But the phrase is often misunderstood.

It doesn’t mean pretending to be something you’re not.
It means acting in alignment with the leader you intend to become—before it feels natural.

That idea is rooted in psychology. William James taught that behavior often precedes belief—that we act our way into new ways of thinking.

Or as Kurt Vonnegut put it more bluntly:
“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.”

In other words: you become the mask you wear.

If you show up uncertain, reactive, avoidant, or inconsistent, the practice absorbs that energy.
If you show up calm, decisive, values-driven, and accountable—even when it feels uncomfortable—the practice rises to meet it.

Teams don’t do what you say.
They do what you tolerate.
And more importantly, they do what you model.

Leadership isn’t charisma.
It isn’t volume.
It isn’t perfection.

It’s presence.
It’s consistency.
It’s responsibility.

Most dentists were never trained to lead. They were trained to diagnose and fix. But practices don’t struggle because of a lack of dentistry. They struggle because of a lack of leadership behaviors.

So if your practice isn’t where you want it to be, start here:

The uncomfortable—and liberating—truth is this:

When the leader changes, everything changes.

And that’s a problem you actually have the power to solve.

A Complimentary Invitation

If this reflection struck a chord—if you recognize that the next level of your practice requires a different version of you—I’d like to extend a simple invitation.

Schedule a 20-minute complimentary leadership clarity call with me.

There’s no pitch.
No preparation required.
Just a focused conversation about where you are, where you feel stuck, and what kind of leader your practice is asking you to become.

As a thank-you for scheduling the call, you’ll receive SeveneBooks, all my 2025 releases:

These aren’t motivational reads. They are field-tested, How Toframeworks drawn from decades of clinical practice, leadership coaching, and working alongside dentists who decided to stop reacting—and start leading.

👉 Schedule your complimentary 20-minute call @ practiceperfectsystems.com
And take the first step from insight to intentional leadership.

Because when the leader changes, everything changes.