What’s Eating Away at Your Referrals? (How a Safari Adventure Reinforced the Rules of Referral Etiquette for Dental Practices)

I’m often asked by budget-conscious practices (that’s praise, not criticism) how much they should set aside for marketing. My answer usually surprises them—and puts me slightly at odds with one of my own mentors, Dan Kennedy, who famously says, “Whoever can spend the most to get a customer, wins.”

Maybe it’s my Jewish heritage, but spending money unnecessarily just isn’t in my DNA. My advice? For external marketing—beyond a kick-ass website—ideally, zero. Nada.

Why? Because building a strong referral system costs almost nothing… and referred patients aren’t just good patients—they’re the best patients.

Lessons From the Bush

Yet at four of the venues we stayed in, and during all the tours and transfers, their name was never spoken. At our first private game lodge, Makanyi, a beautifully wrapped bottle of wine awaited us, along with a note from Steuber Travel. A perfect gesture—warm, personal, and a visible connection to the people who made the trip possible.

But from people? Silence.

At other properties, staff referred vaguely to “your agent” or simply went about hosting us without acknowledging who had made the arrangements. At Cape Town’s Mount Nelson, for instance, there was an entire discussion about “what your agent arranged,” without ever using Steuber’s name.

To most guests, that omission might seem harmless. To me—as a consultant obsessed with marketing, referral generation, trust-building, and customer experience—it was a glaring missed opportunity.

When I debriefed with Katie after my return, I mentioned it. Even over the phone, I could hear the disappointment in her voice. She had worked hard to deliver, but the venues failed to reinforce her role in making it happen.  I felt terrible, but owed it to her to be truthful.  I’m sure there will be follow-up.

The Dental Practice Parallel

Imagine this same scenario in dentistry. You refer a patient to a periodontist for advanced therapy and implants. That patient spends $20,000 at the specialist’s office and receives excellent care… but your name is never mentioned. The patient never hears, “Dr. Smith sent you to us because they knew we’d take great care of you.” Or, “We love it when Dr. Smith sends us his patients, they are among our most favorite.”  Or, “Dr. Smith is such an excellent dentist and a real wonderful human being.”

The patient may still get a fantastic clinical outcome, but a key moment to build goodwill has been lost—for you and for the specialist. Over time, that erodes loyalty. When another excellent specialist becomes available, the referring doctor might consider sending patients there instead.

Referral etiquette isn’t just manners—it’s a marketing multiplier, and it costs nothing.
When someone sends you a patient, your job is to:

The Takeaway from the Bush

On safari, the lodges had a golden opportunity to create a three-way win: make us feel grateful to them, make us appreciate Steuber Travel even more, and ensure we became loyal, enthusiastic referrers for both.

In dentistry, every referred patient is a chance to create that same three-way win:

Referral magic happens when recognition is intentional, consistent, and sincere. Without it, you risk turning magic into tragic—and in both travel and dentistry, that’s a loss no one can afford.

Want to Make Every Referral Count?
I’ve created the Referral Etiquette Checklist for Dental Teams—a step-by-step guide your team can use to turn every referral into a relationship-building, loyalty-generating opportunity.

 Email or PM me to request your free copy and start making your referral process truly unforgettable.

P.S.  Steuber Travel has graciously offered my readers a $250 planning fee credit.  Just tell them that I referred you.  If you’re planning any significant trip, you should consider taking advantage of their advice.